I’ve been noticing how motherhood is a lot like the hawthorn tree. Sometimes it’s blooming as we grow into adulthood. Other times it’s weathering storms in life. Or it’s growing a few thorns as we experience different situations. We all go through different stages in life and motherhood is one of the most transforming. 

As a woman, you will carry your baby, have ever changing hormones, everyday life, and then have to learn an entirely new routine all while trying to find balance. 

You may lose your blooms for a while, but once you come out the other side or through that stage, you’ll stand tall with brighter blooms and a few thorns you’ve learned to protect yourself with.

My Seasons of Motherhood

I know I have definitely been through a transformation in motherhood and at different stages of my life. 

When my girls were little, our first big change happened when I stopped working. I was a single mom and worked nearly 50 hours a week, so they were in daycare while I worked. Looking back, it felt like I was barely a parent because I had so little time with them. 

Then life happened and I found myself at home with them full time for the very first time and I had to relearn being a parent. It was by no means perfect and some days were a struggle but I will always cherish that time with them. 

When my oldest started school, that was a big structural change for her and I. She was struggling and it forced me to unlearn some of the habits that had been created and she and I started new ones that she thrived with. Again, never perfect but it was noticeably improving. 

Now that I have 2 small boys and am nearly 40, parenting definitely looks different now for me. 

Where I may have had less patience before I now have more and we have better systems and structure in place for the boys to thrive in. Of course, no child is the same so we modify the systems to work better for my 5 year old. 

I also had to relearn being at home and creating that balance for myself and for them. I had to figure out how to thrive while being home and create my own schedule since I no longer had a traditional work schedule.

At the same time, I also had to be their mother and make sure I was still their security in everything. Even on days that were chaotic or a struggle, I will forever be grateful for how much time I have with them at home. 

Rethinking What It Means to Bloom

It’s easy to assume that blooming in adulthood might mean you flourish at everything that comes across your path easily. 

However, blooming begins when you start living your life more intentionally. You will mature in some parts of it, but in others you will fail, grow a thorn, and try again. 

For each thorn I’ve grown, there has been a different experience, but I have also seen how bright the bloom that follows is.

Even Here, There Is Growth

Growth is messy, inconsistent, and ever-changing. Some stages of life will be all thorns with no blooms, but even when it doesn’t feel like it, your growth is still unfolding. 

You will see when your shift happens, and the blossom will be that much sweeter.

This Is Enough

I’ve realized that growth is taking stock of my thorns and the blooms that follow. So that I know, this is enough… I am enough. 

Stand tall like a hawthorn tree and be proud of yourself for the moments you have lived. 

From my road to yours, happy wandering.